"Untie him and let him go."
So many of us are fixers. We see a problem and we want to fix it. Of course, this is done out of compassion for those who are in need. When we see someone suffering from an illness, struggling with a difficult relationship, facing a great challenge in life, the victim of an injustice, or being battered by life circumstances, we want to fix the situation. We want to help in someway that is practical and changes the reality that they are going through.
When a situation is unfixable, though, we struggle with what to be able to do. This is born often out of our need to fix it, to make it better. We get busy about many things, trying to help in someway when we are at a loss to be able to fix the situation. It is right and good for us to do what we can, but when a situation can not be fixed, we still have an important role to play.
And example of this is when someone dies. There is nothing we can truly do to make it better, nothing we can do to bring back the loved one who has died. We try to provide meals, watch the kids, provide transportation when necessary, clean the house, make phone calls, help plan the funeral, and whatever else we can think of. These are all good things and can be a sign of our love and care for those who are sorrowful.
We should be mindful, however, that our need to do something doesn't prevent us from doing the most important things. These may be simply being with those who are grieving, listening to their stories about those who have died, praying for and with them, and asking them what they need most. Often, in our need to do, we miss doing what is most needed. Our desire to fix the situation can actually become a burden on those who are suffering.
Our actions at helping may actually be a way of avoiding the deep pain that is present. Sometimes, the most important thing we can do is just to listen and let those who are suffering know that they are not alone. In this way, we are able to be God's presence to them. Not every situation can be fixed, not every thing in life can be made better, but God is always with us and we can always be with those who are in need.
When the burden of pain and sorrow can not be changed, can not be fixed, it can still be shared if we are unafraid to be present and listen. The burden can be lightened by our steadfast willingness to be with those in need. We can allow them to be sad, angry, frustrated, tired, or anything else that they are experiencing and share that moment with them. God's love is unconditional and by being present in the difficulty, without trying to fix the unfixable, we show forth that love and acceptance.
We untie those who are suffering from our expectations that we can make it better and free them to be as they are. Doing this is a true gift of ourselves. It is a gift for the other so that they know they are not alone, that we are truly with them and through us, so is God.