“When you are invited by someone to a wedding banquet,
do not recline at table in the place of honor.
A more distinguished guest than you may have been invited by him,
and the host who invited both of you may approach you and say,
'Give your place to this man,' and then you would proceed with embarrassment
to take the lowest place.
Rather, when you are invited,
go and take the lowest place
so that when the host comes to you he may say,
‘My friend, move up to a higher position.’
Then you will enjoy the esteem of your companions at the table.
For every one who exalts himself will be humbled,
but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”
Who are you? Are you more than a product of natural selection and evolution, a complex ordering of nucleotides arranged in your DNA, one instance of infinite quantum possibilities, action potentials releasing neurotransmitters across synapses, or the choice of your parents? Are you more than your actions and activities, your relationships and acquaintances, your degrees and promotions, or your achievements and honors? Are you more than your bank account, zip code, or possessions? Are you more than your sins or failures? Are you more than your social media? Who are you?
If there is something more real to who you are, take this question seriously. Take your time, look within, and go deep. Don’t stay on the surface, where there may be smooth sailing or turbulent storms. Go deeper, into the darkness and unknown. Go into the silence. Beyond the images, the expectations, the responsibilities, the definitions, the hopes, the trials, the exertions, and the mistakes, what lies below? If we get this far, most of us get caught in the terrors of being alone with ourselves and the darkness overwhelms. We get stuck or head back to the surface. Instead, pass through it and go deeper still. If we can bear the darkness, in the depths of stillness, there is a reflection, a glimmer, a spark, a luminescence. It is God’s signature, his image, his love. In the deepest reality of who we are, at the very core, there is love. You are loved. You are the beloved.
This is the heart of spiritual detachment. It is the opposite of a worldly detachment, where we build a wall around our hearts, unwilling to see the humanity or suffering of others. In worldly detachment, we become an island for self protection, unable to show compassion, and ready to pounce on the weaknesses of others. Worldly detachment is disregard for others and a super-regard for self. Spiritual or holy detachment, on the other hand, is dying to self to live for others, taking up your cross daily to follow Jesus. It is reflected in the words of a poor young virgin, “Let it be done to me according to your word.” It is reflected again, through sweat like blood, in the words of Jesus in the garden, “Not my will but yours be done.” It is the Lord of Lords removing his outer garment, kneeling down with basin and towel, to was feet. It is the Eucharist. How is this possible?
Only love. Only by apprehending the deepest reality of who we are, that we are loved, can we be free to love without limit. Do you get it? You are loved. You are the beloved. God loves you. God likes you, too. You are the apple of his eye. You bring joy to God’s heart. You make his face light up. He runs out to embrace you. The heavens rejoice, the trumpets sound, and the angels dance for you. The wedding banquet is for you. Everything God has ever done has been for you. Everything for you. For you! Who cares where you sit at dinner.